we have officially lost it.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
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