Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
