She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
