Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
