thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
