Non-Jews are for practice
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
