Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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