Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
