but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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