He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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