Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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