Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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