Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
