I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
