i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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