Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
