I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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