Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize