A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
she smelled like a LAN party
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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