Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize