maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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