is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
