Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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