fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize