we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
