thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize
