Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
