I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
