my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
