How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
how drunk are you?
Several
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
