The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
we're so committed to being not committed
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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