This is not my ceiling
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
