As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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