Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
