Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
