I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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