can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize