so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
