Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
