I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
