He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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