Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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