Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
