i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
