so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
