k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
