don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize