Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
