The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
