More tranny stories later!
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
