Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
