watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize