i wish there were pregnant emoticons
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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