I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
