Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
