i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
