i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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