Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize