Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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