I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
