wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
My bed smells like the plague
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
