i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
