he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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