so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize