I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
