oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
