I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
